June 24, 2006

How Much? A Spiritual Question...

Like I said before, I want and am trying to make this project of mine a spiritual discipline. In many ways it has been. I've learned some things about myself, been able to create a different community, and have had a different prayer life (and sometimes language at times).

One my mind and heart this week has been the question of how much is enough? This, of course, is not a question directed just a this project, but life, business, economics, money in general. Putting money into sacramental mustang has not been a question, because no matter what it'll be cheaper than a new car. Sometimes though, I have to stop and ask myself, do I really need that? But here's the thing, I'm not sure alot of times. When it comes to spending money is there a gray area or something. I mean, I know I point at big business and government and mock the way they spend money when so many people, nations, cultures would benefit from just a percentage of how money is wasted and used. Then, I look into my life, and see the same thing, in a way, only on a smaller scale. Do I really need those heads that will help make 70 more horses? Or that cam that will make my car sound cool? Paint? Is that just superficial?

These seem like easy questions right? Of course not! Well, then do I need this laptop? I could have just used paper for notes. My apartment? There are much cheaper units in Temple. My Dog? He eats (alot). So my question is, when is it too much? I feel like many of these decisions are guided by comfort or ease of life. Well, I need this laptop to make it easier, my apartment to be "safer," my dog, well I'm not sure on that one. Is it justifiable because I'm not spending ridiculou amounts of money like businesses can?

So, I've learned to live a little more in grace, knowing that I have so much. I've learned that it's harder for me to point fingers, when I'm not part of the solution. I've learned to be a little less judgemental on how others spend money. I've learned that the answer isn't always simple (Mary washing Jesus with that alabaster box). I've learned that my possesions aren't all that important, money's not that important, but it is a means to end.

I'm sorry if these thoughts are scattered, but the my thoughts and ideas are still being formed, I just wanted to get it out there. What are you're thoughts?

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