Religious Flowchart

I thought this was too good not to share. Enjoy:

via.

Evangelical & Mainline Culture Shock

Here's a funny look at the culture shock, from both sides in ways that's a little snarky but light hearted, on the divide between evangelicals and mainlines. What would you add? via Tribal Church.

•Even though they love the environmental aspects of the screen, they might break out into a bit of a cold sweat when they see it in the sanctuary.

•They might bring their Bibles to church. Do not be alarmed when you see the book. Try not to stare. And don’t worry. They will figure out quickly that they’re not supposed to bring it.

•Their personal Bible in their pew does give them a little comfort because they can’t immediately tell the difference between hymnal, prayer book, and Bible in the pew. They will pick up the wrong one. At least until they figure out that no one else really follows along with the readings, because they are the only ones who know how to look them up.

•If they’re particularly moved by a solo, they will clap following it. Once. Until they figure out that it’s not okay. Then they will die a little bit inside.

•They never missed a Sunday at church growing up, but they don’t know the Apostle’s Creed. They are the ones mumbling “watermelon” when the rest of the congregation is proudly articulating every word.

•They might say “Amen” after the pastor says it. It’s just a reflex. And don’t laugh at them if they use “just” in their prayers. At least they know how to pray in public.

•They are the people who would rather leave their right arm than leave their email address.

•They may not have been going to church for the last ten years, because they were afraid that they couldn’t afford it.

•If they happen into a denominational church during Stewardship Sunday, they may never come back. Only because, in their mind, asking for money is what church is about every Sunday.

•If they hear how much your church is involved with helping the homeless and poor, then they will start to breathe. And they might be able to leave something in the offering.

•If you mention that your church supports LGBTs, then the muscles in their neck will loosen. They will be utterly confused, but very relieved.

•They are confused by communion. They might not have even ever participated in communion before.

•If someone tries to hug during the passing of the peace, they will have finely-developed defense mechanisms in order to shield themselves from the Holy Spirit chest crunch.

•If the pastor learns their name after a couple of weeks, they just might faint dead away.

•If the church has a discussion about having a “contemporary” worship service in order to reach out to more people, they will assume that you’re trying to get their parents to come to your church.

How about something funny

80's video dating montage...or "yay for self (lack of) awareness"

Top 10 Reasons Men Shouldn't be Ordained

I love this.

10. A man’s place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be “unnatural” for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.

4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, change the oil in the church vans, and maybe even lead the singing on Father’s Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.

Awkward Questions about Jesus

This is my Public Service for the Day

You are welcome.

CLICK TO FIND OUT IF YOU HAVE THE SWINE FLU!

Texas Secede...ask Colbert

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Tip/Wag - Texas Secession & MACA
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor NASA Name Contest

How about a Sweet Video

Left last week for Beaumont with some students from my faith community and have been vacationing from here for the last week, so to excuse the silence here's a great rendition of "Little Ride Riding Hood." Oh, by the way we dry walls an entire house in 2.5 days and got to see just how great our students are.


Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

More Funny Truthtelling

Everything is Amazing yet Nobody is Happy

Comedy seems to one of the amazing ways of truthtelling.

Are you Paranoid...Android?

You can see a better version of the vid here.

Last Day Of Seminary Work Ever!

And what a day it was. I finished putting together my mentoring folder to finish the last of my work and now I'm officially done with everything for my Masters. So to tie up all the loose ends and get ready for graduation, I headed up to Waco to turn in my folder and get ready for graduation.

Not even five minutes on the highway, I get pulled over by a bike cop. Yes, I got a ticket on Interstate 35 for going 71, apparently the highway speed limit is 55 around downtown. Too bad I was going as fast as everyone else.

Then, just south of Belton, this happened:



Well the good news is I'm done with school, I got four new tires and while waiting I got some Jalisco's burrito, and I get to take defensive driving and sharpen my driving skills ;)

Happy Thanksgiving

Incredible Savant

Thriller A Cappella

Check out this video of a guy singing M. Jackson's Thriller A Cappella. He records his voice 64 times to get all the sounds, it's pretty neat.

François Macré - Thriller (reprise A'cappella 64 pistes)

Toy Story Dark Knight Trailer

ACL Fest '08

My first thought is why haven't I been to more of these! Even though there were alot of complaints about the lineup not being as strong as in past festivals, I really enjoyed my two days in Zilker Park. So apparently this is one of the reasons to love Austin and overall I thought it was great.

Here's a list of the bands I saw (I missed Friday completely):
Saturday:
Man Man/ CSS/ Erykah Badu/ City and Colour/ MGMT/ Spiritualized/ ConorOberst and the Mystic Valley Band/ Iron and Wine/ Robert Plant & Alison Krauss/ Beck
Sunday: Flyleaf/ Against Me/ Colour Revolt/ Okkervil River/ Raconteurs/ Gnarls Barkley/ Foo Fighters

I had a blast at the Foo Fighters venue. My wife and I crammed in with the first clump of about 150 people near the stage of about 60,000, which made all the difference. I also really enjoyed Plant/Krauss, Iron and Wine, Colour Revolt, Spiritualized, Beck, Raconteurs, and City and Colour.

Ended up Nicely

This weekend was pretty productive for some "around the house" type duties. Although we still need a new vacuum cleaner (ours of 5 years died a violent and smelly death)...(I guess this is what happens when you own a husky), I did get a few things done I've been meaning to for a while.

1) I made several hundred dollars from cleaning out some spare parts from the garage and posting them on ebay. Now I have a cleaner garage and some cash in my pocket.

2) I put a new speed control sensor and o2 sensor in the 5.0. I drove the beast around for about half an hour. There are still some kinks to get worked out, but with some new cash in my pocket I think I'll finally just put it in a shop.

3) My favorite and most ghetto activity of the weekend. Dropped about 80 bucks on a brand new paint job. That's right 80 bucks! Well, my 4 banger Mustang is a piece and has (no wait, had) many rust spots. These cars keep their value, but their only worth their body and chassis shape. Thus, I spent several hours sanding and grinding off rust from the car. With the bare metal exposed, I rattle canned some Krylon Rust prevention primer with zinc, then some Krylon semi-black paint. My entire afternoon and evening was consumed by this job, but now I must say that the semi-flat black Mustang looks much better then the rust and faded black (pic's forthcoming). You can take me out of the ghetto...

That was weird

I just checked out Mark Driscoll's new site. Huh, well, it was definitely weird.

Why you should vote republican