Some Words on Marriage/Counseling

Here's an interesting post from a blogger on marriage and marraige counseling (which I believe is his profession or a part of it) where he says:

I would be very happy if they would forget about what it means to be a husband and wife and just begin by thinking about what it means to be a human being, and how one human being relates to one another.

I really like alot of what he says and I think it can apply to many areas that Christians or anyone tend to struggle in. Instead of focusing solely on greed, violence, or lust it might just be more beneficial to focus on being more human.

In the beginning God created two human beings and put them together in a partnership to rule over creation. They were to be in partnership with one another, each helping the other fulfill the creation mandate, and they were to have dominion over the animals and rule over them.

Almost every serious marital conflict I get involved in eventually becomes a contest of wills, and the struggle is over whose "will" will prevail. This is a contest to rule. Mind you it is usually all presented in the most spiritual of ways, with husbands pointing out the woman's responsibility to submit and women pointing out the husband's responsibility to be like Jesus, and both remaining defiant till the other submits to their understanding of God's word for the other.

This makes marriage about dominion rather than partnership and not only undermines the marital relationship, it undermines our identity as humans. Humans are to rule over animals, not each other.

And some last words:

I think I think that many Christian marriages could be enormously more happy if the spouses would put aside the fact that they are married to one another and just treat one another as if they were Christians. Galatians 6:10 tells us to do good to all men, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. In other words, of all the relational duties we owe to each other as humans, as neighbors and as enemies, we are to be especially careful to fulfill these duties to fellow Christians.

Maybe many of our problems in life and marriage arise from our perception of how others should be and the roles they should fulfill. Instead of focusing on the box we think others should be in, we need to focus on changing the source of the box, ourselves.